Watch, and enlighten yourself on the game design of The Legend of Zelda throughout the ages, and how things have changed, not necessarily for the better (but why there may be hope). And perhaps get a chuckle or two out of it.

Time Traveler - 64 Series

The story of a time traveler who moves forward and backward through time to save a kingdom from darkness.

[Available @ Redbubble]

Forces - Power, Wisdom, Courage

As the first of the goddesses of Hyrule, Din contributed power. The second goddess, Nayru, gave wisdom. The third and final goddess, Farore, provided courage.

[Available @ RedBubble]

Escape

There are days when you feel like you’re in a non-stop race to escape Ganon’s Castle, when your troubles just seem to slow you down like Zelda stopping because a boulder fell in front of her, or because she thought it would be a good idea to wander over by that bad guy. Or that one goddam Redead on the last bridge. Double-v. Tee. Eff? All you want to do is get out of this crumbling, burning building but no, you’ve got this female shaped anchor holding you back followed by the stone cold stare of a zombie on the last possible bridge out of here. What’s a guy to do?

Of course, the anchor in reality isn’t female shaped, well I guess it could be, but it takes the shape of whatever is weighing you down. Thoughts, people, food, schoolwork, you get the picture. The only thing you can do is accept that these things are there and deal with them as they come. So I guess your problems or hurdles or whatever are more like the stupid flaming doors and such that prevent you from escaping quickly and that you have to kill some guy or guide Zelda over to it in order for her to deactivate it. In that case, Zelda’s not so bad and could probably be considered a friend (like C-3P0 with the comlink and the whole trash compactor debacle, but that’s another story). But still, the analogy sort of holds (sort of). Get you and your problems the fuck out of that burning building. Take them with you and deal with them a bit as you go. It may turn out in the end that whatever seems to be slowing you down will indeed save you, giving you that last moment to grab the Master Sword and cut all that bad shit asunder. That’s of course if you remember to switch back to the Master Sword instead of hammering away with the Biggoron’s Sword.

Yeah, that happens.

As for that Redead, or the last person in the world you want to talk to at that given moment, either whip out that Ocarina and play the Sun’s Song (because obviously you have time for that) or just run. He’ll make you scream like a little girl and hold you still if you choose the latter, but you’ll still get out of there.

There are days when I feel like that. Luckily, today is not one of those days.